PAST TOURS - Bangkok October 24-28, 2007
Beijing International Ice Hockey

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Slaughter - Upset - Old Friends - New Friends - Great Time

Beijing now has 90 players in its 5-team league. From this pool, only 13 players and one coach were allowed by wives, lovers and girlfriends to travel to Bangkok for the 2007 edition of the "Land of Smiles" hockey tournament.

Several players flew to Thailand ahead of the tournament to get a few days of rest on the beach, and this provided them an opportunity to scout out the best places for the team. By Oct. 24, the pilgrimage was complete, and most of the players met at Morning Night Bar on Soi 4 (next to Nana Plaza). There, ex-Beijing player Andrew Hjelmeland III and the Dubai Mighty Camels (lead once again) by Steve Conniff, lead the team to Soi 8 for dinner & drinks. We were once again amazed by what we saw: signs stating: "Massages for Men by Men" or Lolita’s "Our Bar Staff are Guaranteed to Blow You Away!" After a quick tour of Soi 8, Beijing and the Camels retreated to Nana Plaza's Hollywood and PlaySchool. Confusion hit the tourists wondering what to do with baskets of ping-pong balls here - but we knew that we would likely solve the mystery in a few days. After midnight, Beijing retired to the NanaTai Hotel (at the end of Soi 4 next to the Thai Tobacco Monopoly) - a bargain at 900Bhat/night!  

1-10 Vs. Taipei Typhoon (Thursday Morning) 

  Thank you score-keeper for the Mercy Rule - scoreboard stopped at 8!

Like always, jetlag is just horrible your first morning in Bangkok! We can never figure out why, but our first games are NEVER good. This year was no exception. Hardest hit by fatigue was our goalie Scott Lau. Simply stated, he gave us a "Pascal-ian" effort, and it is estimated that he actually saved 4 shots during the game! Beijing felt very fortunate to have a scapegoat in Scott since we all truly sucked that game. At least no one on our team blew chunks on the bench! By setting the bar low, things could and actually did get better. It was the Master Plan!

3-2 Vs. North Bay Muskies (Thursday Afternoon)

Veteran hockey player/journalist Greg Heakes gave us the scouting report on North Bay. "You guys are screwed - they beat Taipei 2-0 and have 5 ex-OHL players and the tournament’s only ex-NHL player, former goon Troy Crowder" (won 2 of 3 fights with Probert). Strategy - Ray and Coach Kyle use subterfuge and approach them with 2 cases of beer for pre-game mercy drinks! Ray and Kyle downed 4 beers telling the tale of woe of the 1-11 slaughter. "Please be kind..." "We suck!" "Have another beer!"  When the puck dropped, Jeff flew around the defense and after 12 seconds, it was 1-0 for Beijing! Scott Lau shook off his hangover and played like a god, denying break-a-ways and sniper shots. Jeakins took a pass from Yoko & Doc and unleashed a boomer from the point that got buried in the Musky net. In the 3rd, Plummer potted a one-timer insurance goal from Jonathon, but North Bay was waking up. 3-2 with 5 minutes to go, Troy Crowder came up the far boards towards Jeakins, who was standing firm on the point - the last man back. Crowder fliped the puck around Jeakins and tried to jump around John. The Hammer lived up to his name, dropped his shoulder, and like Howard Cosell - the crowd chanted "Down goes Crowder – Down goes Crowder". Some say... almost over the boards! North Bay wives were outraged calling for a penalty. Crowder looked menacingly at Jeakins, but must have heard about Jeakins' arm-wrestle gun-fight in Mongolia with the Russian Mafia... and thought better of messing further with the Hammer! Thanks to hard skating, a brilliant Beijing performance, and a few dozen Tiger Beers - the score stayed 3-2.

Enlightened by the victory, Beijing hit Nana Plaza in force. Enough said!

4-2 Vs. Bangkok Expats (Friday)

On paper, Bangkok looked much worse than they were with 1 goal for, 17 against. Then we discovered that their losses were against Team Nokia All-Stars and the UAE 'Nationals' (AKA Team Belarus). Beijing was losing most of the game, but in the final 5 minutes, scored 3 goals to capture victory. With this being our only game on

0-2 Vs. Singapore (Saturday) DIVISION FINALS - alas another loss

If only Beijing had lost against Bangkok, we could have faced off against the Dubai Mighty Camels, but we won our semi, and they lost theirs, forcing us to play Greg Blakney's Singapore team. "Subway Greg" underhandedly was able to switch goalies for the Scorpion's star goalie by breaking their net-minder's hand in warm-up. In a close and fun game, Singapore out shot and out skated Beijing to earn the victory, but it was a great game with lots of chances for both teams to score.  

TEAM SINGAPORE - The Division Champs

Beijing stayed to watch the remainder of the games and Singapore & UAE ran away with the trophies.

The Tournament Final started out as an amazingly physical game. UAE "Nationals" - who consisted of a line of Belarus hired guns - was playing the Scorpions (who had flown Roman Lebedev, Beijing's ex-Russian Rocket playing for them). UAE scored two goals, and the Scorpions bit back with some fantastic hits! The referees deserve all the credit for keeping the game under control - 4 players were issued at least 28-minutes in penalties, and non-contact hockey returned (damn!!!) Roman scored a late and only goal for the Scorpions, and the game ended 3-1.

Banquet night was fantastic. 400 players and fans together, at the Jersey Auction. Troy Crowder’s 3 jerseys went for 12,000, 10,000 and 8,000 Bhat. Roman’s fetched 10,000B!!! And Troy Crowder bought Beijing's for 5,000, and then had it stolen!!! Singapore's only went for 2,000! Players, wives and dates were soon in the pool.

Alaska & Mama-san - these boys look good together eh!	Remembering the evening before...
Alaska in action	The feast of McDonald's & KFC
Jeakins focused on the game along with Alaska & Yoko	The boys sucking air
	Steve Conniff - Dubai Mighty Camel's intrepid leader
A rare goal squeaking past Dubai's goalie	Dubai - watch the game - not the camera! Singapore's Greg Blakney behind
The Singapore / Dubai game gets rough! Jeakins "The Hammer" looks on!	Mini-Me and his son -
Doc Martin & his helpers!	Jeakins' game-face!
	Mini-Me & John Kung
Jeff backchecking as Taiwan breaks down on John Kung	Scott Lau
Scott Lau makes a penalty shot save vs. Taiwan
Scott Lau makes another great save against North Bay Muskies	Troy circling the North Bay net
North Bay's goalie	Mini-Me!
Troy Crowder in Bangkok - We need to get Dave Semenko from Edmonton to come! http://www.nhl.com/nhl/app ?articleid=341941&page=New sPage&service=page	"Soft-hands" Crowder scored twice in the shoot-out to advance the Muskies into the semi-finals where they were crushed by the UAE Nationals
Ray & John	Ray & Tom Cumming - together again!
Ray, Tom and the smallest man in the tournament - Shanghai's Alex
The great Refs - Fantastic job!!!	Greg Blakney
Roman the Russian Rocket	Greg Blakney
Troy Muller - Beijing's fantastic Jersey Maker! Thanks! Troy also arranged our fantastic hotel.	Troy vs. Taiwan
Yoko - Tour Captain	After our first game - Yoko considers tossing in the towel

Honourable mentions from this year's tour:  

Tom Cumming: Ex-Beijing Canadian diplomat and Beijing/Shanghai businessman, flew in from Edmonton with his mate to play with Shanghai. Beijing was too full and Doc refused the trade to Shanghai.

- Saint Tom

Marcus Benz: Ex-Beijing/Shanghai businessman, flew in from Switzerland for 2 days of paaartying even though he was fresh from Achilles tendon surgery. 

- Benzie

Roman Lebedev: Ex-Beijing player flew in from Moscow. The Russian Rocket was hired by the Scorpions and lead them to the semis.

Andrew Hjelmeland III: Ex-Beijing player now living in Bangkok. Come out to see us and guide us through the chaos of Nana Plaza

Kalle Tahkaaho: Current Beijing player who played with Team Nokia and dressed up with his brother as the Hanson Brothers! Kalle won the tournament MVP for defenseman! His team finished 3rd in the tournament, beaten by the Scorpions in a shootout! His team was so proud, they showered him with libations and by the time he could hear his phone ring in the morning, the rest of Beijing was already at the airport! Almost a Finkle on his first tour. 

- Kalle 'Hanson'